All I Want for Hanukkah Are My Two Front …
This has got to be the best present a little Jewish boy could get from Hanukkah Harry this year: a restoration of God’s gift AND better lovemaking! Yes, I have asked all my friends and family to put the 4Restore Natural Foreskin Restorer under my Hanukkah bush tonight. From the fabulous 4Restore.com website:
With Foreskin Natural Restorer, the remaining skin of the circumcised penis is expanded in order to produce a new foreskin. The tissue generated by the process is your own skin and is almost exactly like the original foreskin. In fact, the appearance of the new foreskin is so much like the original that few would ever know the difference.
My favorite thing about it is that the restorer kind of looks like a bong, so I can smoke up AND enjoy more sensibility in the head of my penis. (Warning: “If the stretching becomes too painful, decrease tension.” Indeed!) The product must be okay because Time Magazine said so (just like the war in Iraq) and it only costs $130.
I’ll take two!
About The Author - Ben Wyskida is a writer, activist, conscientious hedonist and political communications strategist living in Brooklyn. - Visit Ben's site.
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And to think, I was just going to get doughnuts…
It makes the head of your penis more SENSIBLE? Awesome! Maybe it can give me some tutoring in algebra, I have a test coming up.