I was about halfway through reading about the latest bullshit, batshit crazy, all-time low for the 2008 Election when it occurred to me how much Mark Penn, Hillary Clinton's lead strategist, looks like Larry Drake who played Benny on L.A. Law. (And Dr. Giggles! Best movie ever.) Campaign 2008 is now officially retarded, as the news cycle for the day was given over entirely to an old photo leaked by Clinton staffers to the Drudge Report, followed by a debate over what media outlets cover -- or don't cover -- candidates wearing tribal headgear and why. What? The quick backstory: In 2005 Barack Obama went to Kenya and for an event was dressed in Somali elder garb Now if I were Barack Obama's campaign manager (and I pretty much think I am) I wouldn't be itching to get this photo out there. For a candidate who has to reiterate over and over again that he's not a Muslim, in a campaign where Clinton surrogates have worked overtime to remind white, working class voters that Barack Obama is black, the photo is a homerun, managing to conflate black, muslim, foreign and strange in a nice tidy white headwrap. It doesn't exactly scream "electable" or "independent midwestern voter magnet." The photo was sent to the Drudge Report by the Clinton campaign with an email asking "Wouldn't we be seeing this on the cover of every magazine if it were HRC?" either because they think Obama is getting a free ride from the media OR they want to focus on the issues that matter to voters in Ohio: traditional Somalian headwear. After sending the photo and being absolutely excoriated by the Obama campaign, Clinton then flipped the script, noting that "Hillary Clinton has worn the traditional clothing of countries she has visited" and that Obama should be ashamed of being upset with the Clinton campaign for politely highlighting that photo for the estimable Drudge Report. This is a nice distraction from Hillary saying that Obama should be ashamed of himself for sending a mailer saying she supported NAFTA since, you know, she supported NAFTA which has sent like every job in Ohio to Mexico, along with Ken Griffey Jr. and every third baby born in Toledo. Senator Clinton's road to Ohio and Texas is not the high one (uh oh am I making a reference to Barack Obama's youthful cocaine use, thus reminding voters that he's black, muslim and was stoned at the debate on Thursday?). In fairness I do wish Barack would stop wearing Sombreros all over Texas, but it seems to be working: He's up 4 points. Sombrero = good. Taliban madrassa Osama Adolph somalian headwrap = bad. All of this is probably why the two stupidest people in America decided to decide the election the old fashioned way, with a near-deadly kitchen knife-fight:

The race between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama for the Democratic nomination continues to heat up -- but in one Montgomery County, Pa. household, the debate turned violent. Prosecutors say that two brothers-in-law tried to settle the presidential race on the kitchen floor of a Collegeville, Pa. home. Jose Ortiz, 28, is now behind bars on felony assault charges after prosecutors say he stabbed Sean Shurelds inside a home in the 100 block of Honeylocust Court. District attorney Risa Ferman says a heated debate over the candidates escalated into violence: "One is a supporter of Barack Obama, the other is a supporter of Hillary Clinton, and an argument of words turned bloody when one brother-in-law tried to choke the other and the victim then responded with a knife and stabbed his brother-in-law in the stomach.”

Yes! I lived in Philly and that sounds about right. Sadly I'm not sure how to bring this blog post full circle back to Mark Penn as mentally challenged office assistant Benny Stulwicz, but it does kind of seem like Benny is running the shop at this point.