Panama John
On top of being 4,000 years old, the champion of one of the world’s least popular wars, and an all around dirty dog, McCaingerous can now ad one more thing to the growing list of reasons he’ll never be our President. As you may or may not be aware, Uncle Sam has a strict no-immigrants policy when it comes to who can be commander-in chief. Only “natural-born citizens” can apply. (Sorry test tube babies.) This may be the only reason President Schwarzenegger isn’t currently serving out his 4th term. Also, as you may or may not be aware, McCaingerous wasn’t born in sunny Arizona. In fact, he wasn’t born anywhere in the states. McCaingerous is Panamanian.
Now, the sharper tacks out there may point out that McCaingerous was born in 1936 in the then-American-controlled Panama Canal Zone. But does that even count? I don’t know about you, but I don’t remember ever reading about the State of Panama Canal Zone in my horribly underfunded public school!
Whatever the case may be, don’t expect the presumptive democratic nominee, Barack Obama, to be eager to raise the issue. We all know he’s from Iraq!
About The Author - Stirling McLaughlin is an Art Director, Designer and Illustrator in New York City. Stirling enjoys vegan baking, expensive sportswear and mustard and relish sandwiches. Stirling lives in Manhattan with his wife and daughter. - Visit Stirling's site.
Loading ...
As much as I hate John McCain, this is a non-story. The Constitution doesn’t say you must have been born in the U.S. to be President. You must be a “natural born citizen,” which is possible in two ways: (a) you were born here, or (b) your parents are U.S. citizens. McCain clearly qualifies under the latter.
Regrettably, I can never be President. I was born in London, England and my parents were not U.S. citizens at the time — so I strike out under both points. But we moved to Chicago when I was one, and we all became naturalized U.S. citizens. Still, I can never be President but John McCain can.
I suspect our country is the worse for that conjunction of facts, Paul.
“No person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, AT THE TIME OF THE ADOPTION OF THIS CONSITUTION, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty-five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States.”
Therefore, NO ONE is eligible to be President! Because NO ONE living today was a citizen of the United States in 1787 when the Constitution was adopted. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a constitutional crisis on our hands! This clause has not been amended to include presidential candidates born after 1787.
We’re screwed. I’m calling Jon Stewart.
“Therefore, NO ONE is eligible to be President! Because NO ONE living today was a citizen of the United States in 1787…”
I don’t know. McCain is pretty old…