Pinko Magazine Hedonism + Activism

It’s Emily Valentine again, your fearless Pinko movie critic. I trudge out to the theaters to see whatever kind of crap is out there so you don’t have to. This week in review: The Other Boleyn Girl starring Natalie Portman, Scarlett Johannson and Eric Bana.

This film depicts the semi-fictionalized story of Anne and Mary Boleyn and their “relations” with King Henry the VIII. As you might expect there is a lot of idyllic scenery and fabric draped all over the windows, canapy beds, characters—whatever they can find really. Breasts are smooshed up and in your face. Men wear mutli-colored tights and heels. We’ve all seen that before.

Basically, The Other Boleyn Girl is a melodrama of overdressed-back-stabbing-sex-kitten sisters trying to sleep their way to fame and wealth. Sound familiar? If you are drawn to Paris and Nicky, Jessica and Ashlee, or Eva and Zsa Zsa then this might be the film for you. (By the way, did you know about the hot older Gabor sister, Magda? Did you also know that both Magda and Zsa Zsa were married to actor George Sanders. And that George Sanders was the voice for Shere Khan in Disney’s The Jungle Book. Now that is hot!)

Beyond the hope that you will get to see Natalie Portman, Scarlett Johannson or Eric Bana take their clothes off, there really isn’t much too this movie. And it’s rated PG-13 anyway, so don’t get your hopes up for much action on the screen.

You can’t take this film seriously, but it may just end up being the guilty pleasure you need to get you through the rest of winter.

About The Author - Emily Valentine, when not stalking Brandon Walsh to the ends of the Earth (you will be mine!), is a talented sexuality educator and scholar in Philadelphia. - Visit Emily's site.