Pinko Magazine Hedonism + Activism

Editor’s Note: After making a string of controversial remarks recently, Geraldine Ferraro has announced in a letter to Hillary Clinton that she is resigning from her campaign finance committee. Pinko has obtained an exclusive copy of this unedited letter.

Dear Hil,

What the fuck did I say? I read your open letter from January when you reminded me that Barack Obama is black. Did he stop being a black? Is he a Chinaman and nobody told me? A mongol? Barack Dorjpalam Hussein Obama? (That’s traditional Mongolian. For asshole! Lol. Kidding.) Seriously though, he’s a black and everyone knows it. So what is the fucking issue?

I should have guessed something like this would happen. You know how those people are. You can’t say anything bad about them. They can say what ever they damn well please in their hippity-hop songs, but I say anything bad about one of them and 30 minutes later Al Sharpton has a fucking news conference. I’ll tell you one thing. Those people stick together. They’re worse than the fucking Jews!

I know what it’s like. When I ran for Vice-President and everyone said my husband was the Godfather because his last name was Vaccaro it was total bullshit. He was way more marginal. It was really Godfather II territory. Maybe even My Cousin Vinny. It stung.

So I guess I’m going to have to resign from your campaign now. Once those people get hold of you, its all over. They’ll eat you alive. They’re savages! No, seriously. I saw a thing on National Geographic. Eat you a-live.

And another thing, I’m pretty sure it was Obama that stole my car stereo last year. I didn’t get a god look at him, but I’d bet you if it wasn’t him, he knows the ones that did it! You should get on CNN and talk about that! Let see him talk his way out of that one! Bet you he can’t!

So yeah, what was I saying? Oh right. I am stepping down from your finance committee so I can speak for myself and you can continue to speak for yourself about what is at stake in this campaign. When that red phone rings we don’t need Jay Z answering it, or whatever. Fuck — was THAT racist? I only said it because Jay Z cut a radio ad for Barack. Not because I think he’s gay and would be banging Barack on the down-low. You didn’t hear that from me, though I assume Ed Rendell will bring it up. And that’s the kind of thing they would use against me. The Obama campaign is attacking me to hurt you. I won’t let that happen. Not in my back yard.

Sincerely yours,

Geraldine Anne Ferraro

About The Author - Stirling McLaughlin is an Art Director, Designer and Illustrator in New York City. Stirling enjoys vegan baking, expensive sportswear and mustard and relish sandwiches. Stirling lives in Manhattan with his wife and daughter. - Visit Stirling's site.