Why Wont You Just Be Gay!
Being gay is not a choice. It is something you are born with, or for the unfortunate souls such as myself, not born with. Lord knows I have tried to choose gaynees. Oh, how I’ve tried! Unfortunatley, on the great bell curve that is human sexuality, I am far closer to Gene Simmons than I am to Richard Simmons.
Perhaps this explains my frustration with Make Me a Supermodel contestants Ben and Ronnie for refusing to suck it up and be a couple. Unfortunatley “Bronnie” as they are now known, is only half gay. And not in the bi-sexual sense. Ronnie is gay. Ben… not so much.
What don’t they get here? Haven’t they seen Brokeback Mountain and then conveniently neglected to watch the ending? Don’t they understand the care free joy that is being a gay couple in America?
And furthermore, if two chiseled, spray-tanned male models can’t be gay for each other, what hope do flabby, pasty faux-mosexuals like me have?
About The Author - Stirling McLaughlin is an Art Director, Designer and Illustrator in New York City. Stirling enjoys vegan baking, expensive sportswear and mustard and relish sandwiches. Stirling lives in Manhattan with his wife and daughter. - Visit Stirling's site.
I was saying the same thing to the Jonas Brothers just this morning! And to Mario Lopez, Slater on Saved by the Bell, from 1989-1997.
Mate, if they don’t want to be gay, there is nothing you can say to make them be that. Even if they both would be gay, they might not have the hots for each other anyway. There is a lot of choice out there for somebody with gorgeous, spray tanned bodies that they have. Who knows, they might even like a “pasty faux-mosexuals” and you might get lucky.