Top down, metal legs up, that’s the way…
so one of the guiding principles of Pinko is that we’re sex positive and think that you can do your thing whatever that thing might be, but this one is just beyond the pale.
A man in central Ohio is accused of having sex with his picnic table The investigation began when a tipster gave police three DVDs showing Arthur Price having sexual intercourse with a metal round table on his deck… He walks out to his deck, tilts the table on its side and has sex with it. He confirmed to police the incidents caught on the DVDs and said he had also had sex with the table inside the home.
UPDATE: There is a video! It fills in the missing details in the case (the table has a slot meant for an umbrella, natch) and focuses on the real victims here: the children. Though I suppose if I were a child on a playground and I looked across the street and there was a man on his deck fucking his picnic table I would be pretty upset by that. Have a look.
Sadly, this is totally safe for work…
UPDATE NUMBER TWO: Sustainable recycled picnic tables here you click the link and buy now thank you.
About The Author - Ben Wyskida is a writer, activist, conscientious hedonist and political communications strategist living in Brooklyn. - Visit Ben's site.
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