McCain Camp: Obama loves America almost as much as he loves God (and by ‘God’ we mean ‘Jesus’)
Ok, this is a little to much.
“We don’t want to talk about his patriotism and character,” said McCain adviser Charlie Black. “We concede that he’s a patriot and person of good character. This is about big issues.”
I would just like to pull out a couple of thing here.
1: You’re now conceding that Obama is a patriot?
Dosen’t “concede” typically imply giving up or, as google puts it, “agreeing despite previously disagreeing”? Isn’t that just a big flip flop? Are you now admitting that you didn’t think that Obama was a patriot but now you’ve flip-flopped and think he’s the Junior Senator from Mom and Apple Pie??? I know I’m being a bit of a prick here, but McCain himself has actually avoided answering this question in the past. So what changed?
2: Patriotism isn’t a “big issue”?
Really? Because that’s kinda all you’ve got John. Your position on the Iraq war is massively unpopular as are your positions on reproductive right, the economy, and basically everything else. Now, with the recent record U.S. casualties in Afghanistan, some people are beginning to question if you even have that much of an edge on national security. Take away the patriotism thing and all you are is an insufferable douche with bad skin. You’re kinda short too.
3: Charlie Black still has a job?
A couple of weeks ago Ol’ Charlie said that a terrorist attack would be a “big advantage” to McCain. Classy stuff. If that wasn’t enough, he also lobbies for companies like Blackwater, represents known liars like Ahmed Chalabi and helps draft bogus news stories that get play here (NYT) and abroad (Iraq). And this is the guy you have speaking on your behalf?
It’ll be interesting to see how this play out, but it’s looking like another big win for McCain.
Super Late Update: I hate the idea of explaining jokes, but some comments below suggest that people didn’t think I was being very funny.
My first point (above) was a reference to the rabid assertions made by the McCain camp (and parroted unquestioningly by the media over the entire July 4th weekend) that Obama had somehow “flip flopped” on Iraq. A simple review of Obama’s past statements show that this is completely absurd, but thats not the point. I was lampooning the kind of deliberate distortion perpetrated by McCain and Co. and perhaps indulging in a little to much of a “let’s give them a taste of their own medicine” overzealousness. Somehow in doing this I managed to give people the impression that I was looking to score political points by stretching the facts to the point of breaking.
I would have assumed that our readers (especially those readers who have known me for over a decade) would have been hip to the joke. I assumed wrong. In the future, whenever I am trying to be funny, I will try and make it extra super obvious. If anyone knows a good rim shot emoticon or some other way of doing this let me know.
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we concede this Muslim is a patriot.
stirling you are too too good.
You have concede that it really would be a benefit for McCain if there was another terrorist attack. It would seem to be historically accurate assumption, despite what would seem to you and I to be obviously flawed reasoning on the part of much of the American public. Now as for how tasteful it is to say, that is another story. Tact sadly does not dictate truth however and perhaps what we should be asking, is why does this ring true and how to we change that.
Also, remember that McCain is not in fact a wordsmith and most probably could not write the definition of concede as it is described in Webster’s Dictionary. In the common venacular(sp.) concede often means that it is a point that will simply not be argued with the presumption that no stance is taken either way previously (a short survey of Northern NJ residents confirmed this assumption). Not to say that I know for a fact that this was his meaning, but it is certainly a possibility. With so much real, factual material to work with, what’s the point of stretching and bleeding meaning out of a statement that for the most part has none, unless of course you do it in a comedic sense.
Otherwise you sound disturbing like that crazy guy on fox news, given without advertising that you a fair and balanced which aids your case considerably. I mean you even have talking points. I do not mean this as much as an insult as it reads, actually now I am laughing at the similarity.
Unfortunately, I do think that if Al Quaeda bombed Cleveland or blew up the Olympics or did 9-11 to the Space Needle or something that Obama would be totally fucked. The basic narrative of McCain = war hero/national security is digestible, while the reality that McCain’s judgement on foreign policy is unsound is harder to grasp.
Also Cindy would fly that private jet right up bin laden’s runway.
didn’t Pinko endorse Jesus? im SO confused.
Eric, you are correct. Humor has no place in this discussion.
*makes fart noise with armpit*
Wait, my actually meaning is that if you included humor I would have nothing to bitch about, hint hint. Try to make it funny (obviously funny since you may already be trying and just not succeeding) and I can quit my whining. I have switched targets anyway as Joanna (of polish decent so not to include a last name on a public post) is applying to work for Obama so I just compared him to the president of Iran on her facebook wall.
And Ben, I would vote for Jesus over any candidate on the ballot but sadly he is foreign born. Do you think we could convince His Holiness to be reborn in Kansas? There’s a candidate I could get behind.
Shut up and write your thesis.
Jesus wasn’t born in Kansas? I thought he was working for Fred Phelps.
Eric — are you as major a prick in person as you are on the internets? If so, I think a terrorist attack on your house would benefit everyone.
Debrevis de la Fontes,
I tried to think of something prickish to say, but you called me out and I lost my power.
I haven’t been called a major prick since I broke up with my ex-girlfriend and I haven’t had a girlfriend in a long long time.
As for the terrorist attack on my house, I live with Reagan Republicans so it will only help John McCain, or will it? Either way I can say the house is well armed for any attack.
My mistake, His Holiness is the Dalai Lama, not Jesus. Though I imagine they are kinda one in the same. WIll I get in trouble for saying that?
-1st Lt. Major Prick
I would like to say that I responded poorly to Eric’s early comments because I viewed them as personally disrespectful. This is part of a larger issue I have with Eric (offline) and I haven’t done the best job of responding in an appropriate way to the substantive points he made (frequently buried in his trademark condescending screed).
It’s a long story, and it doesn’t translate well in this format, but I apologize to anyone reading this who may have found my earlier responses overly harsh, or got bored listening to people scream at each other.
(sigh) Every time this place gets close to childish bickering, you gotta shut it down. Flame pooper. YOU ARE A FLAME POOPER.