Two All Beef Daddies Special Sauce Let Us Please
Dear McDonalds,
Today I learned from the American Family Association that your company has “chosen to give the full weight of your corporation to promoting the radical gay agenda.” I understand that the AFA is now advocating a full boycott, which I have no choice but to uphold. Sadly, your support of the radical homosexual agenda makes it completely impossible for me or my family to enjoy a crispy ranch chicken snack wrap.
Let me be very clear: I am a gay. loyal McDonald’s customer. I have been a gay loyal McDonald’s customer since my older brother’s best friend mother first took me into that shed by the pool to one of your establishments and fed me oh Ben don’t! a delicious Big Mac. Ever since then — for almost 30 years — I have continued to patronize manhunt.net your restaurants.
As a longtime and loyal gay customer of McDonald’s, I demand some answers:
Why won’t you fill the ball room with hot young twinks and/or Mario Lopez? Also, ball gags. did you co-sponsor gay pride day in San Francisco, knowing full well that gay sex feels good is contrary to the will of god?
Is your Vice-President of Communications Richard Ellis really single on the Board of the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce? If so is he a top or a bottom doing so on behalf of McDonald’s Corp?
Is it true that you believe those who oppose same sex marriage are so hot when they’re angry omg motivated by hate? I don’t hate.
Let me be very clear: I love oral sex with men, boys, trannies and such double quarter pounders with cheese. I need a rim job french fries from time to time. On a hot summer day, nothing is better than a furtive sexual encounter out by the interstate milkshake. But as long as you keep your hand right there continue to support the radical homosexual agenda I can not continue to mmmmm eat your product.
Please contact me with a phone number for Vice-President of Communications Richard Ellis, or if he prefers he can IM me its “suburbanDad469″ your response to these concerns as soon as possible.
Sincerely
A Loyal McDonald’s Customer.
About The Author - Ben Wyskida is a writer, activist, conscientious hedonist and political communications strategist living in Brooklyn. - Visit Ben's site.
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Mmmm… special sauce…
i am outraged shocked and deeply offended. also i am very hungry have you tried the ranch? ive only tried the honey mustard snacker.
I don’t really understand what McDonald’s DID. like, they gave some sponsorship money to Pride in San Francisco? I can’t imagine this will fire up the conservative base …
well, i guess the issue is they gave some money to an organization that lobbies for gay marriage. so now you can get gay married in Ronald McDonald land or whatever.
That guy in the photo is totally fucking hamburglar.
Annie that’s basically it — they gave 20k to this chamber of commerce group (smart business) and they ran an ad supporting SF Pride. Now i lived in San Francisco and I could almost boycott them for supporting Pride as well, but for entirely different reasons. Still, those actions qualify mcdonalds as “off the sidelines” in the culture war.
also, isn’t the hamburgler like, the strangest kids character ever? why would kids respond to that?
http://thedailybeast.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/hamburglar.gif
the hamburgler is probably pretty familiar with that ball gag …
Ben, this is by far *THE BEST* post ever written on Pinko. I’m sitting here at the Las Vegas airport (waiting for my connecting flight to Austin), and am laughing my ass off!!
Just one question — where did you get that photo???
Too bad I just had Burger King for lunch … this makes me wish I had McDonalds
What is ronalds position on this?
I am afraid to say (for copyright reasons) but if one was to do a google image search for “leather daddies” one may come across the original, sans happy meal…
Strikeout humor is the best kind of humor. But McDonald’s food tastes like crap (and according to what I’ve read is largely comprised of the same.)
i DO like a little steak egg and cheese breakfast bagel, but i guess that’s also because i know that buy buying such things, im paying for the right to marry.
oh girl that is a wicked good breakfast sandwich, regardless of its political agenda.
I’m “appaulled”…not only are my eight kids and I not going to McDonald’s anymore, but we’re not visiting pinkomag.com anymore either.
What’s Ronald’s position on this? From personal experience, I’d have to go with “Reverse Cowgirl”.
OMG!! The guy in this ad makes me want to eat a Big Mac REAL BAD!!