Pinko Magazine Hedonism + Activism

Dear John McCain,
I understand you where on Good Morning America this morning when you said the following about our little situation in Pakistan:

“I think it’s serious. . . . It’s a serious situation, but there’s a lot of things we need to do. We have a lot of work to do and I’m afraid it’s a very hard struggle, particularly given the situation on the Iraq/Pakistan border,”

Now, as a former 4th Grade Geography Bee winner, please allow me to fill you in on some of the subtler points re: the Middle East region.

Pakistan doesn’t share a border with Iraq, you fucking dipshit! It does share a border with Iran (Iraq, Iran… who can keep track with all these consonants?), but despite the numerous occasion when you’ve apparently confused the two, IRAN AND IRAQ ARE NOT THE SAME FUCKING COUNTRY!

Maybe I am overreacting. Perhaps you simply misspoke. Perhaps you had meant to say “…given the situation on the Afghanistan/Pakistan border.” This would be a little more forgivable since we are currently up to our eyeballs in shit in both countries. Either way it’s pretty fucking wild that somebody who’s entire justification for being in the race is his alleged superior knowledge of foreign affairs can’t even keep his countries straight.

At the risk of being a prick, I think I should point out that this isn’t exactly the first time you’ve made his kind of error. On numerous occasions you’ve confused the Czech Republic and Slovakia with Czechoslovakia, a country that hasn’t existed since 1993. 1993!

So John, do yourself a favor and get a new almanac. Also, stop trying to run on your alleged foreign policy knowledge. You’re just making yourself look stupid(er).

About The Author - Stirling McLaughlin is an Art Director, Designer and Illustrator in New York City. Stirling enjoys vegan baking, expensive sportswear and mustard and relish sandwiches. Stirling lives in Manhattan with his wife and daughter. - Visit Stirling's site.