Pinko Magazine Hedonism + Activism

Dear John McCain,

In your latest campaign ad you claim that you are the original Maverick. What kind of bullshit is that?

Maverick my chapped old-man ass! Ask anyone and they’ll tell you. I was the original Maverick! I’ve was a Maverick back when you where just another asshole in danger of failing out of Annapolis! I played the title role of Maverick on ABC between 1957 and 1960. That’s 48 episodes in all! That means that I’ve been Maverick to 200 million Americans for 51 years! I was even nominated for a god-damned Emmy in 1959. How many Emmys have you been nominated for Johnny boy? What’s that you say? None? I rest my case.

I know you must think of yourself as some kind of celebrity, what with your star turns in “24″ and “The Wedding Crashers”, not to mention your gig hosting Saturday Night Live in 2002 or your 12 (12!!!) appearances on the Daily Show. But do you really think a few shitty cameos and bit parts makes you a Maverick you stumpy-armed albino hobbit?!

Take it from me young man. The camera may love you, but you sure as shit ain’t no Maverick.

Sincerely,

James “Maverick” Garner

About The Author - Stirling McLaughlin is an Art Director, Designer and Illustrator in New York City. Stirling enjoys vegan baking, expensive sportswear and mustard and relish sandwiches. Stirling lives in Manhattan with his wife and daughter. - Visit Stirling's site.