As of (very) late last night, Joe Biden has officially been tapped as Barack Obama’s running mate. So now it’s officially Obama Biden! (Try saying that 5 times fast…)

I can’t say I’m surprised. Clearly if I spent all this time coming up with this fancy photoshop image I must have had some indication that Biden was the clear front runner.

For those of you who may not be that familiar with Joe Biden, I’ve compiled a short list of things you need to know about Barry O’s new BFF. Some are good, some are bad. Some are just reflective of my own internalized racism and self loathing as a Scotch Irish Pennsylvanian.

So here it is. Everything you need to know about Delaware’s articulate, bright, clean and a nice-looking Senator VP candidate:

• Joe Biden is an Irish Catholic, which is kind of like being a christian. This means that he can drink you under the table and will fight a park bench if it looks at him sideways. Both these things are important skills when it comes to diplomacy.

• Biden was born in Scranton Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania is considered by some to be a major battleground state. Also, it most likely means that Biden clings to guns and religion.

• Biden has a bit of a mixed record on abortion rights. He currently supports “a policy of Government neutrality” when it comes to abortion. In other words, he doesn’t think the Government should restrict abortion but doesn’t think it should pay for it either. He also believes that life begins at conception, not at 50 as this t-shirt clearly states. As a young senator he opposed Roe V. Wade but has since changed his mind. He currently receives a 60% rating from NARAL.

• Biden voted in favor of the invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq. He agrees the Iraq one was kind of a dumb move on his part.

• He supports direct diplomacy with Iran and North Korea, but Cuba is like, totes on his shit list.

• Unlike Obama, who is viewed as a Washington outsider, Biden has been a senator since 1972. To put it another way, when Biden started his first term in Senate, John McCain was only 500 years old!

So what do you think of an Obama Biden ticket? Leave a comment and let us know your thoughts.

About The Author
Stirling is a writer and art director in New York City. He lives in Manhattan with his wife and daughter. The opinions expressed on this site are his own and do not necessarily represent those of his employer. He stresses that this last bit is very important. - Visit Stirling's site.