John McCain to be beamed up to Jesus.
I got a press release from the Republican National Committee about one of the single biggest issues facing America today: The design and construction of the podium where John McCain will accidentally fall asleep give his acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention. Not kidding here! I got a press release. About a podium. A podium. Working valiantly to spin this into news, Convention CEO Maria Cino explained why this podium is so exciting:
“The stage was designed to facilitate the candid and personal tone that Americans have come to expect from Senator McCain. The intimate setting will be a fitting backdrop for Senator McCain’s acceptance speech.” When designing the podium area, every effort was made to ensure it would complement the direct and personal interaction that has characterized John McCain’s candidacy.
Hmmm. Well, the podium is swaddled in meaningless and garish patriotism. That seems about right. My favorite part is about the “intimate setting,” which is a valiant way to spin the fact that nobody is going to the RNC — at least not sitting Republican Senators who are up for re-election. To date, (8) different GOP incumbents want to be a lot further than four feet from the floor while McCain gives his remarks.
To their credit the set is designed to look more like a town hall setup than a “speech,” since we know that speeches are “just words” but McCain at a town hall = straight talk. (Remember when Elizabeth Dole wore that Madonna mic? That was so great.) So for McCain it’s good planning, meant to highlight his strengths. It’s the lights that are out of control though! Thursday September 5th the Christian Right may finally get their wish: John McCain is headed right upstairs.
An even larger image of the podium after the jump. My favorite thing about the rendering is the extreme whiteness of the stand-in McCain.
About The Author - Ben Wyskida is a writer, activist, conscientious hedonist and political communications strategist living in Brooklyn. - Visit Ben's site.
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Wait a minute… This is the republican convention? What are all these black people doing there? And why are they semi-transparent?
I’m not buying that as “intimate”. It seems a tad ornate for that. Like if this were Star Trek and we were on that planet where the Roman empire survived into the 20th century and I was the emperor this is totally where I would give my speeches from.
Why is the floor plan arranged like a union jack? Will aerial photography reveal a secret masonic plot to get us back to the good old days?