Pinko Magazine Hedonism + Activism

I’ll be in Minneapolis for the next week, watching the Republicans feign concern over Hurricane Gustav and working vigorously to out closeted, self-hating lithe and fit gay Republicans. I can promise more frequent blogging than from Denver as well as some more adventurous reporting. My goal in Minneapolis is to find as many strange and extreme Republican gatherings as I can, and then tell you about them. Creationist caucus anyone?

Yes we can.

I will also bring you the best Craigslist ads available featuring repressed Republicans who — away from their wives — are interested in gay sex, fisting, slutty schoolgirls, tapas showing party unity.

Has anyone been to Minneapolis? If my plan is to (a) have my gay former Republican friend Karl point out gay Republicans, (b) follow them into a bathroom, (c) have my colleague burst in before I have to touch anything, then (d) upload photos immediately to that CNN citizen journalism site, where should I go? Has anyone spent time in Minneapolis? Besides the airport (which is no longer in “service,” natch) if we want to nab some nasty conservatives in the act where should we go? They don’t have to be doing gay sex to someone. We’re open to family values Republicans at a strip club, churchgoers at an art exhibit they don’t know is naughty, etc. If it comes to it I’ll just expose some fiscal conservatives on a spending spree at the Mall of America, but that’s a little meta. Any ideas?

Also a couple of quick thoughts from Denver, before I let the moment pass:

When I walked into Invesco Field I was behind three women from Georgia, all in their 60’s, singing Amazing Grace. It seemed almost too much of a stereotype to actually be happening, but soon two delegates from Detroit and a family from Denver joined them. They were singing, and crying, and it was only 3:00 — 5 hours before any speech of consequence. They were just so proud and happy to be there.

The media hyped stories all week about “party unity” and angry Hillary supporters, but what I saw block after block after block in Denver was an unprecedented outpouring of joy and pride. The most poignant moments, clearly, were older black delegates in the audience crying at the site of a black Presidential nominee, but I met college students from Montana and volunteers from Boulder and establishment, longtime Democrats all of whom were just overwhelmed by the moment. It was a privilege to be there.

Watching the speech was terrifying in a way: high-flying rhetoric is really a tight-rope act, where a speech is so good that one fumbled word feels like a near-fall from the wire. When Obama stumbled over the word “inextricable,” we joked that maybe he had a piece of arugula stuck in his teeth and should have chosen a simpler word; but it was tense in the same way watching … Olympic figure skating is tense, in those moments where they go up in the air for a jump. It was pretty cool.

Anyway it was stellar; here is a good recap of all the speeches with video if you missed it. Here is a good preview of the RNC … or rather the media stories that should take hold.

Also some idle gossip and observations: John Corzine bought an entire Johnny Rocket’s full of convention-goers cheeseburgers on Wednesday night. It was weird. Russell Simmons was walking through Invesco with an unidentified and very attractive woman. He was wearing a good hat. I gained 17 pounds eating roasted red pepper hummus, which is apparently the appetizer de rigeur at lefty events this year. It wasn’t even Sabra! boo. That’s all I got — see you in St. Paul!

About The Author - Ben Wyskida is a writer, activist, conscientious hedonist and political communications strategist living in Brooklyn. - Visit Ben's site.