Pinko Magazine Hedonism + Activism

John McCain’s speech last night had two central themes. The first was designed to highlight the fact that he was a prisoner of war who was imprisoned during a time of war while he was also, incidentally, a POW. The second was a broadside against the Republican party designed to convince moderates and independents that the best way to bring change to Washington is to keep the Republican party, which controlled every branch of government for the last 6 out of 8 years, in the White House.

Unfortunately, McCain’s speech had all the electricity of a wood burning stove. If anything, it only served to snuff the fire lit by Sarah Palin on Wednesday. Palin rallied the bases, both Democrat and Republican. Old Stumbly McTumbledry just put everyone to sleep, literally! Delegates were so moved by the speech that some of them actually fell asleep. I’ve seen people get more fired up watching a goldfish take a shit.

So what does this mean for the election? It means that the fate of the Republican ticket now rests on Palin, a scandal plagued radical with unpopular positions (or no position) on almost every key issue. Hardcore Republicans may have been electrified by her speech, but Independants and moderates in both parties were turned off. In a year that’s already trending strongly Democratic, thats pretty good news.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll just go and take a nap.

[Updated.] McCain’s whale turd of a speech brought in 38.9 million viewers. That’s 500,000 more than Obama’s speech last week. So… um, Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I’m a little lost.

About The Author - Stirling McLaughlin is an Art Director, Designer and Illustrator in New York City. Stirling enjoys vegan baking, expensive sportswear and mustard and relish sandwiches. Stirling lives in Manhattan with his wife and daughter. - Visit Stirling's site.