Gay Marry It … Or Abort It? Sarah Palin edition.
Okay. I really want to write about something other than Sarah Palin but I’m just obsessed. Everyone is. What will we learn next!? Did she really call Barack Obama “sambo?” Is there more news about the trooper? What books did she try to ban!? Is Todd really the father of the down syndrome baby? For the love of god can we get ONE bad facebook photo of Bristol-Baby-Daddy-Levi shirtless? He fine, even if he is about to enter another Palin sister maybe? an ill-advised, loveless marriage destined to end in divorce.
That week in St. Paul dodging Republicans and sucking down tear gas residue is a lot for a boy, but nothing raises the spirits more than a good wholesome Gay Marry It … or Abort It? Time to Gay Marry the things we love and Abort the things we don’t. To the list!
Gay Marry It
New York Times columnist Frank Rich. Every day Sunday I wake up a little anxious about the election, and every Sunday Frank Rich makes everything okay. Today’s missive? A blunt and clear rundown of Sarah Palin’s positions, which add up to her being the most socially-conservative candidate on a Republican ticket in generations.
Abort It
Republican pollster/guru Frank Luntz. He’s been advising the McCain campaign on how to present Sarah Palin as an “average mother” and “real American.” Sigh. Because all average moms are secessionists.
Gay Marry It
Havens Corners Church. Seriously. Sometimes you have to hand it to anti-gay Christians this is so genius.
Abort It
Sarah Palin’s church. Wasilia Bible is active in the movement to convert gays to straight-ness through prayer. Nice.
Gay Marry It
Britney Spears. She’s back, bitch! I think her MTV VMA gig is the start of a big comeback. Two years ago I applied to be on a reality show where the goal was to rehabilitate Brit’s image. I suggested (a) a small tour of gay piano bars followed by (b) a night in prison with incarcerated girls in Louisiana to draw attention to the failing juvenile justice system there. Nobody listened and look what happened! Two years later … anyway, I think the VMAs tonight are a big step for her.
Abort It
The Spears family reaching out to Bristol Palin. She’s just fine, having that baby she doesn’t really want.
Gay Marry It
We hunt, we fish, we vote. Davy Crockett’s great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-Grandson is on a mission to turn out gun-toting, fish-fetching Democrats this November.
Abort It
Sarah Palin hunts wolves from planes! SHE SHOOTS WOLVES! FROM AN AIRPLANE! Jesus christ.
Gay Marry It
My roommates! They got up at 5AM and biked 55 miles today for a benefit ride supporting Transportation Alternatives, a fantastic bike and transit advocacy group.
Abort It
Did you know John McCain hates Amtrak? He hates it. Wants it disbanded. Fuck him.
Bonus Gay Marry It
Bonus Abort It
Voter disenfranchisement is starting already. Two upsetting stories to read; one from Virgina (disenfranchisement of college students) the other from Ohio (almost 600,000 people involved in a voter intimidation scam.)
Ideas for next week? Anything good we missed this week? Just Email us! Or drop ideas in the comments. No more Palin next week I promise!
About The Author - Ben Wyskida is a writer, activist, conscientious hedonist and political communications strategist living in Brooklyn. - Visit Ben's site.
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Great Blog post. I am going to bookmark and read more often. I love the Blog template
I don’t think it helps our cause to keep obsessing about Sarah Palin … seriously … we need to let her know her 15 minutes are up.
Well, hopefully she is only about 1 minute in, cus’ I have at least 14 minutes worth of career ending dirt still left to dish!
The more shit that comes out about how her church believes in “curing” gay people, the more it makes those of us in the “reality-based” community laugh.
But the more it makes these right-wing nutcases who were going to sit out this election want to get out the vote for the Republican ticket. Dan Quayle was a total doofus, but I don’t remember him mobilizing this base the way Sarah Palin.
Luckily there are a hell of a lot less of those people in 2008 then there were even in 2004. They will undoubtedly ALL come out for Palin. We just need to make sure nobody in their right mind votes for her.
I actually agree on this one. I don’t wanna hear another goddamn thing about Sarah Palin. Ever.
Always happy to disappoint Debrevis!
moose.
i mean look at that thing it’s adorable!
If she can hunt a wolf from a plane, then the Force is really strong with her. Maybe she should be VP. Those things aren’t much bigger than 1.5 meters! She should borrow my T-16 some time and head on down to Beggar’s Canyon.
Christ, I’m a nerd.
I love how horrible she did during the debate. I mean, she did a lot better than I thought she would, but she still did awful, and her reactions and body language really spoke volumes about her and McShame’s plans for even more EPIC FAIL. All she kept talking about was her “energy-producing arctic state, all the hockey moms and six-pack dads” and just using the opportunity to continuously do her “shout-outs” at any chance she got like she was some sort of ditzy, annoying cheerleader.
Hey, if the politics gig doesn’t work in her favour, she can always take her act to Comedy Central, because she is pretty fucking hilarious.