Pentecostals are a Christian sect whose most prominent charcteristic (other than the low entry barrier for ministerial ordination) is a penchant for ecstatic gibberish. In the video that's been making the rounds (see below) Sarah Palin's Pastor Muthee prays in English, but I still feel like his message is hard for layfolk to discern.  Because I spent most of my youth trying to avoid being slathered in olive oil and sauteed in the Holy Ghost fire, I think I can offer a plainer translation, after the jump. The amazing god-fearing video, in rapturous tounge-speak: The exclusive Pinko translation, in snarky English: Dear Jesus, We thank you for Sarah.  She's going to do your work in the capitol.  We just ask that you grant her a bunch of money, and power, so that we can share in that money and power too.  And please protect her from all the witch-doctors, witch-lawyers, and freelance-witch-consultants plotting against her...and bears - you know we have problems with them up here.  You are mysterious and your ways are higher than ours, and that's exactly how we know you want Sarah to be governor.  Please Jesus, see to it that things like lack of qualifications, pesky legal investigations, or even disagreements on matters of personal opinion do not prevent you from doing our will. We thank you for dying to serve as a justification for our hypocritical behavior and frankly secular ambitions. Amen.