Swinging Grandma: How big is Claire’s family anyway!?
Last week we started a good discussion with the story of Claire and her campaign to swing her grandmother from an undecided or possible McCain voter into the Obama camp. Her tactic was to send a warm, heartfelt letter and use part of it to talk about why the election means so much to her. Today Claire reported back.
Mom says Grandma is “leaning” toward Obama. She’s like her own swing state! She got my letter yesterday and said, “What a great letter.”
Pinko wins! Democracy wins. AMERICA wins. Right? Almost. The problem with Claire is that she ALSO has aunts, uncles, and cousins, and suddenly they all seem to live in swing states. Way to go Claire. She continues…
Unfortunately, my very own aunt Judy, whom I adore, is voting for McCain. Judy says McCain makes her feel “safer” on national security. Her daughter … is also in the tank for McCain. So are two of my other cousins, who live in NEVADA. The thing that freaks me out is that, while these women are all very suburban - they listen to LeAnn Rimes, they have enormous fluffy couches and huge television sets and buy “low-cal” salad dressing – they’re genuine, kind, compassionate, not totally bigoted, not homophobic, free-thinking people. The Nevada cousins have a lesbian sister; they’re all related to ME; they’re not outright racists, to my knowledge. They’re suburbanites, not Klan members. I’m not surprised when an old guy with a shotgun in the hills of West Virginia isn’t so sure about voting for the black guy. But AUNT JUDY??AUNT JUDY??
Claire got an email from the Obama campaign about “the talk”. They tell her to “talk to your family members about who Barack really is and why you’re voting for him.” They even provide handy one-page sheets on all the issues. So: talk to them, Claire, what are you waiting for?! Well, as we all know, it isn’t so easy.”Claire” writes:
My family doesn’t do that. We don’t knowingly confront each other when we know we disagree. My mom said judy was REALLY uncomfortable talking about the election with her. I don’t even see these people but twice a year, max. The Nevada cousins even less. Am i risking alienating them forever? I feel like bringing it up turns me into a mouthpiece for a politician, like an apparatchik. (Am i even using that term right?)
I gave Claire some advice, which I’ll post in the comments, but what do YOU think she should do? Let it slide with the Nevada cousins and aunt Judy, or confront them about the election and why it’s so important? Is there any way we could get LeAnn Rimes to CALL them? Does anyone know her? I know the most amazing drag queen LeAnn Rimes impersonator in the world, but I don’t think that will help.
Can Claire swing her cousins? How? They live in Nevada, which Obama currently leads by a scant two-point margin. Also, is she using “apparatchik” correctly?
About The Author - Ben Wyskida is a writer, activist, conscientious hedonist and political communications strategist living in Brooklyn. - Visit Ben's site.
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Perhaps present this disagreement as a chance to get to know each other. Disagreements about this election don’t only have to give us opportunities to argue. They can give us opportunities to come closer together as families, even when we disagree. If Claire only talks to them twice a year, what a great excuse to talk to them more!
Politicians talk about family values all the time, especially politicians on the right. Well, let’s us lefties demonstrate family values, by connecting with our families. Treat it as a chance for Judy to get to know you.
Shortly before my grandfather–a lifelong republican–died, he and I had a long talk about who I was, what I believed, and why it meant I supported Barack Obama. I’m pretty sure I didn’t change his mind, but we got to know each other better, and that’s a good in itself. And I certainly wasn’t going to change his mind by not talking to him.
ugh. i don’t know — would it be weird to write them an email about how you are doing etc. with a paragraph in the middle that is heartfelt … maybe about women’s stuff or just about mccain and foreign policy … that you know it’s hard to talk about but a lot of things about mccain — his hotheadedness, the hatred at these rallies, his support for Iraq instead of Afghanistan, his jokes to bomb iran, his policies that really indicate a desire for a new cold war … all make you so scared of his winning, especially given the chance of him not making it through 4-8 years and how can we trust Palin on foreign policy. “i hate to talk politics but for me and Carl to know we might bring kids into a world that unstable, and for so many friends of mine here in New York who lived through 9/11 and saw what they went through squandered, i have to just ask you to read both their websites and their policies and really give them both thought during the debate” etc etc.?
ugh
but yay grandma!
Sandy, what a good idea! So thoughtful. Reclaiming family values, yeah!! That said, I’m still queasy about broaching the subject. Re-reading this post, I realize how condescending I come off in referring to my relatives as Leann Rimes-listening, giant-couch-sitting, TV-watching, low-cal salad dressing consumers, even if it’s probably true. (I don’t actually know how widespread the Leann Rimes love is; Judy liked her five years ago. Hell, even I like the sound of her voice - it’s pretty!) It reveals that, deep down, I AM dismissive of them, on some level - I’m really a latte-drinking east coast elitist! (Gasp/sigh.) Suddenly, the idea of writing that letter seems less of a pure gesture, and more of a you’re-wrong-I’m-right-allow-me-to-correct-you gesture.
[...] And there are more people to swing! In addition to her grandmother, Claire also updated us on her (Nevada based!) Aunt Judy. ”She won’t talk about the election,” Claire’s grandmother told her, about [...]