“Officially” in fact. At least, that’s what we read in the invitation to tonight’s Fashion Meets Finance – The Recession Is Over! happy hour and complimentary vodka tasting.  The purpose of the event is to match up the overpaid, soulless men of finance with the apparently whorish, gold digging tramps of fashion.

“Fashion Meets Finance has returned to let the women of fashion know that the recession is officially over. It might be a year before bonuses start inflating themselves again, but it will happen. Invest in the future; feel confident in your destiny. Hold on. It will only be a couple more years until you can quit your job and become a tennis mom.”

I thought that these ugly caricatures of humanity had been wiped out by the recession, but they’ve had a TON of people R.S.V.P.! Either Obama’s economic policies are finally starting to pay off, or people want to get shit faced but don’t want to/can’t pay for their own Vodka.

Here are some of the other things we noticed that made us question humanities future.

1) Nikki Beach, the midtown venue for the event, sports a “second floor playground of opium beds”, you know, just in case you want to give your new friend chlamydia without having to drag them all the way back to your parent’s house in Franklin Lakes. They also have a buffet table in the back room (where they serve sushi and tapas, naturally) that turns in to a runway/dance floor at night. No really. Check out their website. I have no reason to make this shit up.

2) One of the events sponsors is the “ultra-exotic” car rental company Gotham Dream Cars that can help you perpetrate your sham/lie of a life by renting you a Ferrari or Aston Martin by the day. Then you can burn through your 100 mile a day allowance driving around trying to find parking at fucking east 5oth street. Oh, I’m sure they have valet service, but you can’t afford it. You maxed out your last credit card so you could play “lamborghini owner” for the night.

Don’t worry. I’m sure your recruiter will call back any day now…

About The Author
Stirling is a writer and art director in New York City. He lives in Manhattan with his wife and daughter. The opinions expressed on this site are his own and do not necessarily represent those of his employer. He stresses that this last bit is very important. - Visit Stirling's site.