All entries by this author

PinkoMag to Maxim: Ellen Arthur Wants Her Crown Back.

May 15th, 2009 | By Ben Butler | Category: Politics

Maxim may have a lock on pictures of hot ladies, but by putting Michelle Obama at 93 on their list of the Hottest 100 Women, they’re shitting in our corner of the internet. Not to be upstaged, here’s PinkoMag’s view of the 7 hottest first ladies in United States history. Memo to Maxim: You can’t say hot without also saying “Angelica Singleton Van Buren” so step back.



Why Is The Silent Majority Always Yelling?

Feb 20th, 2009 | By Ben Butler | Category: Politics

Here’s Rick Santelli’s rant, wherein he calls for the punishment of the Stupids who bought houses during the Ownership Society and cheap-credit days and are perhaps now having a hard time paying the mortgage due to their bonehead decisions like losing their jobs because their companies can’t borrow to cover payroll due to the overwhelmingly [...]



Blagojevich Arrested, Undercover Officer Appointed Senator of Illinois

Dec 9th, 2008 | By Ben Butler | Category: Politics

This morning, Illinois governor Rod “Blago” Blagojevich was arrested after attempting to sell Barack Obama’s vacant senate seat to an undercover police officer, who was posing as a 14 year old girl on the internet.
Governor Blagojevich and the officer negotiated terms of sale that included a T-Mobile sidekick for his wife, a prom date for [...]



Bailout 2: Son of TARP

Nov 25th, 2008 | By Ben Butler | Category: Politics

NEW BAILOUT ALERT!!! NEW BAILOUT ALERT!!!
Again, much thanks to T-Sec Hanky Poo.  This second round of 800 billion goes through without Congressional approval even!  I guess there’s no sense trying to cram this into the news cycle before Thanksgiving.
Anyway, sounds like a lot of money, right?  But the government’s so big.  Surely this is but [...]



Oo-ee, Oo-ah-ah. A former Pentecostal translates that Sarah Palin witchcraft video.

Sep 26th, 2008 | By Ben Butler | Category: Politics

Pentecostals are a Christian sect whose most prominent charcteristic (other than the low entry barrier for ministerial ordination) is a penchant for ecstatic gibberish. In the video that’s been making the rounds (see below) Sarah Palin’s Pastor Muthee prays in English, but I still feel like his message is hard for layfolk to discern.  Because [...]



The best defense is a good offense. And by offense, we mean self-inflicted wound.

Jul 2nd, 2008 | By Ben Butler | Category: Politics

Earlier this week, the Supreme Court struck down the DC handgun ban as unconstitutional. The basis for this ruling is the interpretation that handgun ownership is justifiable for the purpose of “self-defense.” On the heels of this ruling, a CNN report cited statistics that 55% of the 31,000 gun deaths that occurred in [...]



Sustainability, NASCAR style

Jun 5th, 2008 | By Ben Butler | Category: Essentials

In stock-car country, a concern for matters like fuel efficiency and automotive emissions can be considered a sign of deviant sexual preference. Just one airbrushed #24 Jeff Gordon t-shirt can have carbon emissions exceeding most municipal airports. Nonetheless, when you’re an racecar engine builder like Bruce Crower (Man of the Future), you spend [...]



TSA – Marketing Bribery since 2005

May 22nd, 2008 | By Ben Butler | Category: Uncategorized

Sometimes, bribery is the only way to make things work. In nations where the systems put in place to manage and govern are hopelessly complicated, corrupt, or broken, a well-placed bribe circumvents what would otherwise be a painful or impossible process.
Since mid-2005, the TSA has been institutionalizing this process by marketing it as a product: [...]



Not Funny Because It’s True

Apr 15th, 2008 | By Ben Butler | Category: Uncategorized

Today is the much-anticipated date of Pope Benedict XVI’s first trip to the US as pontiff. We as a nation are so happy to see him, that we got our best President on the horn and told him to go give that Pope a ride home from the aerodrome. Which reminds me of a [...]



NYC Recycles – A Pinko Semi-Annual Post-Lenten Investigative Reporting Megapost

Apr 8th, 2008 | By Ben Butler | Category: Uncategorized

Well, it’s the first odd-numbered Monday in April, and in Pinkoland that means it’s time for an Investigative Reporting Megapost! This installation: New York City municipal recycling.
Lately I’ve spent lonely nights wondering: what happens to that bottle of honey-mustard once it’s sputtered its last blob? Does my weekend-long pickled egg binge create unnecessary [...]