Pinko Magazine Hedonism + Activism

Today, Wednesday August 13th, is Left-Handers’ Day 2008.

Famous lefties who are also famous lefties include Senator Bill Bradley, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg, Bill Clinton and Barack Obama. Other notable southpaws include Edward R. Murrow, James Baldwin, Jimi Hendrix and “Perfect Strangers” heartthrob Bronson Pinchot.

Some people also say that being left handed is a mark of high intelligence. That doesn’t really explain right-wing molly-dookers like Ronald Reagan, George H.W. Bush or John McCain. This later group is clearly just the result of some horrible birth defect.

No, we’re not talking about The Love Guru. Although, if we had the intestinal fortitude to sit through it I’m sure we’d have some gripes there as well. No, we’re talking about John McCain’s latest internet video.

The video, which stoops lower then even the record breaking lows of the campaign ads that proceeded it, features vapid caricatures of predominately white female Obama supports. The general thrust (hehe thrust) appears to be that Obama’s supporters are a bunch of dumb bitches on the prowl for black cock. I’d usually do some kind of strikethrough joke there. But no. “Dumb bitches on the prowl for black cock” pretty much sums up the entire ad.

If that wasn’t enough, It even features a blurry shot of a man holding a heart spangled Obama campaign button shouting out “Hot chicks dig Obama!” (more…)

If anyone out there is OBSESSED with campaign ads and could watch Michael Dukakis until the sun comes up, the Museum of the Moving Image has a great archive of every campaign TV ad since 1956. The first one that comes up is worth a look!

Everyone has been watching the Olympics this weekend, ourselves included. But while we’ve been speculating whether Michael Phelps shaves, waxes, or is just freakishly hairless, the world has been going on without us. Here is a look at some of the things you may have missed.

The Republican National Committee hates Smarty farties.

The RNC is now poking fun of Barack Obama’s time spent at a radical madrassa the elite Punahou School, a private prep school in Hawaii. It sounds fancy until you reflect that Obama was a scholarship kid. Also, based on his stellar academic career (which includes being named the first black president of the Harvard Law Review) it worked. John McCain also went to elite private schools, where he presumably paid full tuition, but with more lackluster results. Despite spending time at Episcopal High School, a private boarding school in Alexandria, he only graduated 894th out of 899 in his class at Annapolis.

I guess the RNC figures they’ve had great success with the idiot children of privilege so why change it up now?

And speaking of double standards… (more…)

… to remind you that if for some reason you aren’t registered to vote, or if you MOVED and you need to change your registration that you should get it done. Just click here and do it! 

As for deadlines, New York is October 10th; Maryland is October 14th; Pennsylvania is October 6th; Illinois is October 7th and California is October 20th. Those are the most-Pinko-reader states! The full list is here. Please don’t be the “oh shit I meant to but I just forgot” person on election night when, by one vote, John McCain and Cindy Botox Budwieser Stepford McCain step out to declare victory! Pinko is planning an all-out effort where people can anonymously out and then humiliate their non-voting friends, so get to it!If you’re lucky you can be featured in our sizzling NSFW hot people vote feature. 

Okay I need to calm down. Elections make me anxious (dressing and feeding myself daily also make me anxious, but still) and I’ve spent the week in a palpable state of panic that IT’S ALL SLIPPING AWAY omfg.

The “Obama as celebrity” meme is working!

Hillary might shank Barack in Denver! Or the altitude has he considered the altitude what if he faints during the speech Maureen Dowd did say he looks thin!

What if swing voters in Montana respond better to McCain on his response to the RUSSO-GEORGIAN WAR than to Obama! And when did all those former Soviet republics become their own country anyway has anyone been to Georgia? It’s capital is Tbilisi what does that even mean?

For me the panic is probably at defcon-6 out of 10; Stirling (my Pinko co-conspirator) has actually morphed into Keith Olbermann, temples pulsing and stomping around the apartment naming his infant daughter the worst person in the world for her occasionaly loose stools. We take this shit very seriously.

But through the panic I still found a few signs of hope and some interesting themes emerging:

* The Obama campaign is doing something very smart. In addition to their national ad buys, they are running local ads in swing states focused on issues specific to those states. They have an ad up in Ohio going after McCain for his role in the loss of thousands of DHL jobs; they have an ad up in Nevada taking on McCain for his hypocrisy over the proposed Yucca Mountain nuclear waste site, which is a huge deal there. It’s genius. I imagine we’ll see more of this in the weeks to come, since I gave them so much money the campaign has the resources to do big national ad buys and bore down into specifics.

I’ve always marveled at the idea that any of the general, broad-stroke nationwide political ads could have any impact on a real voter. For all the time I spend watching MSNBC and reading national political blogs, millions of American’s still get the bulk of their campaign news from the local paper, the local news, or an ad that runs during some rerun of Seinfeld. It’s extremely smart of the campaign to put some meat on the bone (shhh) for voters who are still trying to figure out who Obama is and what he stands for. It also lets him stay positive in the big-run national ads and keep the negative ads out of the chattering class limelight, which is smart politics.

* That said, the ad he has running during the Olympics is fascinating. When I worked on a then-nascent campaign to encourage development of “green collar jobs” in America, there was a study by a respected DC pollster arguing that the most effective frame for any candidate to talk about both the environment and the economy is to link them together, and to speak about both issues in terms of solutions and America’s “can do spirit.” The new ad, titled “hands” does just that. Unfortunately it also brings to mind that Jewel song and the time at Trannyshack in San Francisco that I saw someone fisted live onstage to the tune of “these hands are small I know” but that is a whole different blog post.

Also, and totally unrelated to the election:  (more…)

This is just outside Denver, in hopes that people flying in for the Democratic National Convention will look down and think, mmmm Papa John’s. I am one of those people. I will allow this cheap advertising stunt to wash over me like so much garlic sauce, and purchase an extra large chicken alfredo spinach tomato pie immediately upon landing. 

I know I’m a couple of days late, but here at Pinko I don’t think we’ve spent enough time highlighting the important cultural event that was the 2008 Sturgis Motorcyclin’ and Wife Beatin’ Rally.

I was just over at buffalochip.com looking for more info on John McCain’s Sturgis Keynote Address, and maybe a few nudie pictures of sunburned middle aged biker-ladies with jail house tattoos. (Luckily for me, I found both!)

Anyway, under the heading of “2008 Sturgis Rally Events” we see “John McCain will participate in Tribute to American Veterans and Active Duty Servicemen on Aug. 4″ followed a little farther down the page with “Lady Victoria and 3 other professional women wrestlers will conduct twice daily oil wrestling matches.” Finally John McCain has found a venue befitting his stature as the GOP nominee.

You would think that someone who has been trying to attract Hillary Clinton’s supporters under the false pretense that he respects women might want to avoid an event that features a “Pickle Lickin Contest“. But what do I know?

Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s time for me to grab a snack. For some reason I’m suddenly craving pickles.

Dear John McCain,

In your latest campaign ad you claim that you are the original Maverick. What kind of bullshit is that?

Maverick my chapped old-man ass! Ask anyone and they’ll tell you. I was the original Maverick! I’ve was a Maverick back when you where just another asshole in danger of failing out of Annapolis! I played the title role of Maverick on ABC between 1957 and 1960. That’s 48 episodes in all! That means that I’ve been Maverick to 200 million Americans for 51 years! I was even nominated for a god-damned Emmy in 1959. How many Emmys have you been nominated for Johnny boy? What’s that you say? None? I rest my case.

I know you must think of yourself as some kind of celebrity, what with your star turns in “24″ and “The Wedding Crashers”, not to mention your gig hosting Saturday Night Live in 2002 or your 12 (12!!!) appearances on the Daily Show. But do you really think a few shitty cameos and bit parts makes you a Maverick you stumpy-armed albino hobbit?!

Take it from me young man. The camera may love you, but you sure as shit ain’t no Maverick.

Sincerely,

James “Maverick” Garner