Pinko Magazine Hedonism + Activism

Just saw the answer to why $700 billion for the bailout, as opposed to $100 billion, or a trillon, or whatever:

We know we know: The ploy John McCain announced minutes ago to suspend his campaign (and postpone Friday’s debate) is a gambit that signals a campaign in deep trouble. OMG what if it shows real leadership and it works omg. But McCain was a POW! So his judgement is sound. Therefore we’re following his lead. Just minutes ago, from Pinko:  

Effective immediately Ben will suspend working for the duration of the week and possibly until the financial crisis ends. He will deal with it in the same courageous way he faces most problems: By enjoying a refreshing tanqueray and tonic. Stirling too has decided that for the good of America, he will suspend any effort at completing a work day. Henceforth additionally and forthwith Stirling will also suspend the payment of all bills, loans and debts, and is giving up on his veganism because the sale of Breyer’s Ice Cream is just too important to the economy. 

(Honestly If I were Obama I would call his bluff and go to DC for two days but only if McCain can get one of his silly town hall meetings, Friday night, about the economy.)

(Note: Updated with a link in case you didn’t hear about McCain’s dimentia proposal earlier.)

In the most recent Washington Post/ABC News poll Obama has opened up an impressive 52 to 43 lead over John McCain among likely voters. Hott! Just after the Republican convention it was McCain 49, Obama 47.

But just how do they conduct these polls? Well, they call people… on the telephone. No, not that fancy touchscreen contraption you have in your pocket. I’m talking about the talking telegraph you have (or increasingly don’t have) wired to your wall.

Left out of the polling are people who don’t have landlines, or so called “cellphone only” voters. This group is made up largely of younger people. You can chalk it up to the ignorance of youth, but young people tend to like Obama.

PEW just did a series of polls that include “cellphone only” voters. The shift in the data is not as big as you might think. When cellphone only voters are factored in the numbers shift towards Obama by about two-to-three points. You can call that insubstantial, but in politics we call that “the difference between winning and losing”.

Note: This post was written by a Pinko contributor who didn’t want to give his/her name. Take THAT!
Watching President Ahmadinejad speak at the United Nations was an unsettling experience. He spoke like a mixture of Eckhart Tolle, Sarah Palin, Hafez, and Hassan Nasrallah. He did manage to include several poorly plagiarized sections of the Protocols of the Elders of Zion, including the statement that Zionists are responsible for controlling the world’s financial, media, and political institutions, bent solely on world domination. He defended Iran’s nuclear program, called on the coming of the Messiah, and accused America of bullying the rest of the world. Standard stuff. He is, after all, on the campaign trail in Iran, and will face stiff opposition, perhaps even from former President Khatami.

So my advice: talk to the man. (more…)

So, um, newsflash… Clay Aiken is gay. People has the kinda obvious “exclusive”.

But seriously, good for him. I only wish other people had this kind of courage. (We’re looking at you Rick Davis!)

My friend Katie has connected the dots with appropriately bawdy outrage: You pay for your rape kit; I’ll pay for my tanning bed. Thank you Katie.

Wouldn’t it be great if some days newspapers just led with the coolest story, instead of the most “important?” Like how about on Sunday if the New York Times had just given us the day off from this tedious depression and hyped the day’s most completely awesome story: Ithaca, New York is considering pod cars!

If you’re a transit geek like me this is big news. Pod cars are a popular and highly effective mode of transport in a number of European cities, and they have great potential here. Basically they’re individual-sized mini-monorails. They’re the Tastycake Juniors Yellow Layer Cake of innovative mass transit. (God I worship those cakes.) Here’s how pod cars work:

Pod cars are computer-driven electric vehicles that run on a monorail-like loop, usually suspended above roads, with stops at major destinations.The power source varies from system to system; sometimes the cars carry batteries, and sometimes the power is in the guideway system. At each station, commuters can summon the car like an elevator, then type in their destination. The cars vary in size but hold an average of four people, and might cost users 50 cents to $1.50 per trip. Because pod cars are lightweight and do not make unnecessary stops, they are more energy-efficient than cars and mass-transit systems like buses.

After years of strategizing ways to confront growing traffic, Ithaca is taking a serious look at the pod car and authorizing a study to begin next year. Until now I only think of two things when I hear “Ithaca:”Moosewood (both the cookbook and the time they were rude to me at the restaurant) and those Ithaca is GORGES tshirts, which I never understood and which always seem to be clung tightly to some enormous pendulous hippie breasts. Now Ithaca could be known for something else: an innovative mass transit system that is energy-efficient, cost-effective, reduces traffic and is just mad cute. And don’t tell me for a second Apple wouldn’t kick in some cash for the naming rights.

The Treasury Secretary went on the morning shows on Sunday to dance around a pretty obvious question: Why are banks getting bailed out for giving subprime mortgages but the people who got the mortgages aren’t getting any help at all? There is also some serious speculation that Republicans are going to force Democrats to take the bailout, then run against them for “bailing out Wall Street,” and some serious grumbling that we have a one week window to get Congress to really adjust it’s economic priorities for the first time in generations; once this bailout goes through it’s business as usual and the window shuts. 

There’s a lot to worry about. 

But I got a very, very helpful action alert from the Working Families Party today. (Very quick on the draw!) They lay out their general thesis — that the bailout must include support for real Americans — and then give a really detailed set of demands for what a progressive economic bailout would look like. I read and signed; I hope all of you will consider it too. I’ll post the full alert after the jump, but here is the link: 

http://action.workingfamiliesparty.org/t/2775/campaign.jsp?campaign_KEY=2308
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Awhile back I made a joke about the Great Pacific garbage patch being a good place to take a sexy get away with Oscar the Grouch. If I had been more intuitive I would have written the post about David de Rothschild instead, because the banking heir and kids book author is taking a “I have so much money I just had to go” trip to the patch.

In addition to the floating trash heap, the noted socialite and sometimes bad boy De Rothschild will navigate other nasty and/or freaky locales like Bikina Atoll (home to nuclear fallout) and Tuvalu the sinking island.  And while bringing attention to environmental disasters is super noble and something we can support, it doesn’t excuse . . . (more…)

Ah Sunday. A day for most Americans to wake up, put on our Docker pants, head to Church and worship with a pastor who founded his ministry with a witch hunt against a Kenyan woman whom he accused of causing car accidents through demonic spells just like Sarah Palin does. Seriously did you read that shit? The pastor who Palin says helped get her elected through the power of Jesus and who “laid his hands” on her is also a crazy witch-hunter. You can’t make this up, and believe you me Pinko tries. Piyush Bobby Jindal we miss you! I couldn’t decide if Palin’s potemkin pastor or the $1 trillion economic bailout or the war we’re going to have with Spain or the possibility of a sequel to that dreadful Sex and the City movie was the surest sign of the apocalypse this week.

There was some good news though. Barack Obama seems to have stabilized in the polls and the press is calling out McCain for lying. Today is the first day of Fall, my favorite season. And we’ve started a little redesign here at Pinko. It’s still in-process and changing by the day so let us know what you think. But first, the goods you came for: the best and worst of the week that was. To the list!

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